The Final Journey Home

The end of this trip is finally drawing to a close. It's hard to believe that nearly 2 weeks have passed since I made that dreaded trip to the airport to drop off my husband. I can honestly say that I felt such misery that day. I did not know how I would make it through the next 2 weeks, knowing that I missed such a trip of a life time.

And here I am...1 day away from meeting my little girl. It still does not feel very real to me. Right now, I feel like Quinn is really Johnny's child. Such a weird feeling, I know...it's hard for me to admit. He already knows so many little things about her that I don't. At this point, I am just the lady called Mama that lives inside the computer. :) There is no doubt that I have fallen head over heals for this precious little peanut and I have SO enjoyed seeing her layers unfold over the last few weeks. It's just not same as being there. And, of course, I hate to see Quinn have to get used someone else when she is finally breaking down her walls. I'm jumping in with both feet, though. I am definitely ready!

I have spent the last few days reflecting back on the start of this journey....all the way back to the very, very beginning. And it all started with that little feeling....a feeling like no other....a feeling that I knew was so much bigger than me. I remember my sister in law (Kerri) telling me that you know God is speaking to you when those feelings just never go away. They were constant and unyielding. I knew they were going no where.

And then came McKenna. Oh how we loved that little girl. She truly lit up our days. The excitement was contagious through out my entire family. As I look back now, I still have no answers as to why she was taken from this earth so young. At the same time, I know that our path included her for a reason. I was so unsure about this International adoption when I signed my first agency check. That same day, only hours later, we had McKenna's file in our hands. All uncertainty was gone. Her face guided me through the entire paper chasing process. It was McKenna that got me through all of that craziness. She was leading the way.

So, as I prepare to become Quinn's Mama forever (in person...no more computer!), I know without a doubt that she is the little girl that I was meant to have. It's amazing to know that this precious child will change ALL of us. God put these 2 little girls in my life, knowing all along that our path was the perfect one for us.

For me, it's not just the end of a 2 week journey. It really is the end of this year long journey that was full of so many emotions, twists, bumps, you name it. The chapter on the 1st part of the adoption journey is nearing a close....

....and a new chapter is getting ready to begin.

1 more day.